Chapter Three: The Breakup

I hesitated writing this chapter, but figured if I was going to do a blog about all the positive and negative things that have impacted my life, then I couldn’t leave this chapter out.

If you know me, then you know I was in a serious relationship for four years. If you don’t know me, then now you know! This relationship ended in the same way that my parents relationship ended. Quite comical that the same exact person that walked by my side through my parents divorce had the audacity to turn around and do the exact same thing to me! Finding out someone you’re deeply in love with is cheating on you is, probably, by far one of the hardest things I’ve had to stomach.

I’m sure many of you have a similar story, so I’ll share with you how I made this chapter of my life “my bitch”.

When I initially found out, I wanted nothing to do with this person. I wanted to block/delete everything that had to do with him out of my life. Did I handle this situation this way at first? Nope. I talked it out. A whole week went by of just talking through the break up. The “what, how, when, where’s” were all answered. Everything was put out on the table. I highly recommend this. At first, I contemplated staying. Could we work this out? Ladies and gentlemen, NO! I don’t care what the scenario is, no one is deserving of that kind of treatment. Leaving is hard, but staying and feeling like you have to settle for that kind of behavior is much harder. You are worth SO much more than that. Do not forget that. The weeks and months to come were difficult. I spent multiple nights crying, and many other nights happy. I got to the point in my life where blocking and deleting was what I needed to do. Some people call that petty, but is it? I don’t think so. You’re erasing toxic people out of your life. Theres no sense in feeling the need to “creep” through their social media or post things to “get at them”.

I look back and I think “I thought I was happy then.” This experience transformed me. I now know what qualities I want in a life long partner. Both qualities that are must haves and others that are worth compromising on. I’ll tell you one thing; I will NOT settle. Neither should you. I love that I get asked all the time “Heather, how are you single?” Well, that’s easy to answer! It’s okay to be single; being single is so much fun!!! I’m focusing on my career, my health, and my future. We live in a generation that craves relationships. Focus on yourself! Stop acting like being in a relationship is the end all be all. Half the time people who post on social media about their relationships aren’t even really happy. I know I wasn’t.

I’m not perfect, I made mistakes. I had my moments of weakness and was petty. I will say with confidence I acted like an adult more times than I was petty. I could’ve blown up his phone, or sent him long rude messages all the time. Instead, I chose to use this negative experience as an opportunity to grow. I took the punches and let God do his work on me.

I regret nothing about how I handled this situation. I thank God for giving me the courage to get through this. I thank my closest friends for listening to me, and most importantly I thank my mom for knowing exactly what to say. I mean we kind of already had first hand experience. Lol.

If you remember anything from this blog post, remember this:

• Know your worth
• When the time is right God will place the right man in your life
• You aren’t perfect, and that’s okay!
• There actually really is a light at the end of the tunnel
• Let go and trust God
• most importantly “thank you, next”